Outpost Transmissions - Volume 14
12:04 PM
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American Politics,
Barack Obama,
Hillary Clinton,
Pop Culture,
Quirky News
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0
comments
Right out of the oven:
One minute you're at a holiday party thrown by your boss, the next minute he's sending 20,000 volts through your nuts...In other testicle news this week, the Cupcake was relieved to learn that cooler heads prevailed in the Virginia General Assembly, leaving "Truck Nutz" as an acceptable form of protected speech for the time being (special thanks to my girl Jessi out in San Diego for turning me on to deez'nuts way back when)...They do things a little differently out in the Bay Area - Palo Alto reviewing plans for converting cow manure to electricity...Ocean Shore, WA red-necks start using, uhm, brains, develop cool new, though likley inefficient, deer-hunting technique...Problem: You've run out of spare change and desparately need some for the soda machine. Its snowing outside. You're girlfirend has borrowed your car so you have no means of transportation. Solution: Steal a backhoe from a neighborhood construction site, drive it to the nearest car wash (sure to be vacant given the weather conditions) and excute reliable "car-wash-coin-machine-backhoe-jack" robbery using aforementioned stolen construction equipment...In a coldly precise, .203 BAC performance, Stephen Wayne Wolf secures his record 19th drunk driving conviction after hit and run accident...And finally, the Jack Tripper of the frog world becomes part of Three's Company-style mistaken identity the hard way. As one veternarian put it, "You shouldn't be kicking toads to death anyway, it's far better to catch them up and pop them in the freezer." Good advice Doc.
The "George F. Will makes an interesting point" moment of the week:
I've always admired George Will, albiet at an arm's length. Depsite his conservative leanings, he generally approaches politics from a concurrence of realistic political philosophy and solid political strategy. And he has a sense of history unsurpassed in the punditry world. In this morning's Washington Post, after reminding everyone how ridiculous the Democratic Party's nomination process is, he focuses squarely on the absurdity of Hillary Clinton's continued assertions that her "vast" experience should somehow automatically relegate Barack Obama to the back-burner (Thank Christ someone finally did!). Essentially, George reminds us that the experience she keeps touting includes, as he puts it, "everything she has done since school, from her years at Little Rock's Rose Law Firm to her good fortune with cattle futures, as presidentially relevant experience." Most of which, I might add doesn't add up to a hill of beans in political accomplishment. And, in an even more astute observation, he duly notes that Abraham Lincoln was merely a one-term Congressman prior to being president. If I recall correctly, his mug is on our currency, and more than one piece at that - ok, so the penny is somewhat inconsequential, but its still, as Vincent Vega once termed it, legal tender. In fact, Abe's one of a select few presidents to acheive that feat to my knowledge (Washington and Jefferson being the others - correct me if I've left someone out). Gee, look what a lack of experience can get you...your face immortalized on a coin and a bill, not to mention a monument the size of the Astrodome.
Perhaps if the major "liberal media" (another fallacy for another blog) weren't so wrapped up in horse-race coverage, someone other than a conservative columnist like George Will would have pointed this stuff out already. Infurating? Not really. Depressing is more like it. Which leads me into...
A non-denial denial? moment of the week (so far):
Wow. Looks like they'll be burning copies of The New York Times in overdrive throughout red-state Amerikkka...just after the Cupcake defends Senator McCain against the barrage of unfounded and ridiculous criticsm leveled toward him from the likes of Rush Limbaugh, the Times breaks a potential bombshell of a story about his possible philandering and influence peddling. T'is not the Cupcake's place to pass judgement on an issue of this magnitude, but I can say that working in public affairs myself, I can smell a non-denial denial a mile away - and, so far, the McCain camp's responses have been riddled with them. Take, for example, the first official response:
"It is a shame that The New York Times has lowered its standards to engage in a hit-and-run smear campaign. John McCain has a 24-year record of serving our country with honor and integrity. He has never violated the public trust, never done favors for special interests or lobbyists, and he will not allow a smear campaign to distract from the issues at stake in this election."
"Americans are sick and tired of this kind of gutter politics, and there is nothing in this story to suggest that John McCain has ever violated the principles that have guided his career."
It would have been nice if, in addition to telling us about his war record - need we be reminded of that under this circumstance? - or his disdain for special interests or how sick of this "kind of gutter politics" we all are (we're not, we just say that), the spokesperson issuing this statement mentioned that the accusations are completely and utterly false. Hmmm, didn't see that anywhere.
In McCain's defense, he did issue a statement that first targeted the article as being untrue (hardly a denial) followed closely with an emphatic "no" when asked if he was ever romatically initimate with the lobbyist in question (that's what we were looking for Johnny). Man, for a self-described straight talker, it sure took a while for him to tells us he didn't sow a final oat or two.
And, as for the Times, I hope the hell they're right because if they're not, they just dropped a gold mine of fodder for Hannity and crew to tee off on Tiger Woods-style.
You should check out:
Hail Social. Straight outta Philly. In the words of Tom & Ed, extra supa dope. Nice lo-fi artwork. Killer lo-fi beats. Check out at all costs.
