Right out of the oven:

End-of-school-year Amherst pranksters get creative with utility golf carts using spray-paint, super glue…Grizzly bear runs out of honey, decides to chew on man’s head instead…Pinnacle Airlines pilot gets hammered, ends night on the receiving end of Police helicopter search-light wearing only sandals and wristwatch…Cow saves woman’s life by headbutting her in the stomach…Acrobatic race-horse makes mockery of Eight Belles… To horror of neighbors, lazy home-owners (and possibly cheap) enlist the help of goats to maintain yard…Garry Kasparov, still smarting after that whole Deep Blue thing, gets attacked by radio-controlled penis…Despite the five empty beer cans in her possession – 4 under the driver’s seat and 1 in her, ahem, purse - NY teen claims intoxication through kissing…And finally, innocent road-side piss after bender leads to mistaken identity, fatal gunshot to chest.

The “I expect better from The Washington Post” moment of the week:

Unable to peel away the layers of complexity involved with the “brokered” deal in the DNC dust-up yesterday, The Cupcake decided that it would be a good time to start chipping away at another equally volatile issue: leftist media bias. Why this issue at this time? Well, Howard Kurtz of The Washington Post felt it necessary to kowtow to, of all entities, the Clinton campaign in this borderline-ridiculous piece on May 28th; “MSNBC, Leaning Left and Getting Flak From Both Sides.”

While I do not consider MSNBC balanced by any stretch of the imagination, it’s imperative to note that quoting opinions from the likes of McCain strategist Steve Schmidt, White House counselor Ed Gillespie and Hillary Clinton lieutenant Terry McAuliffe as support that MSNBC is an out-of-control tool of the political left is laughable at best. What would you expect that collection of stiffs to say, “MSNBC is doing a great job?”

Ed Gillespie’s quote was the most offensive of the lot, asserting that MSNBC is somehow eroding the credibility of NBC News with their "blatantly partisan talk show hosts like Christopher Matthews and Keith Olbermann." Really Ed? I have reservations about watching my local FOX News affiliate for the weather report thanks to the blatantly partisan talk show hosts harbored by FOX News…hasn’t Kurtz ever heard of Sean Hannity? Hasn’t he ever heard of Bill O’Reilly? Wasn’t the President’s former Press Secretary previously employed as a lead news anchor for FOX? Does Karl “The Architect” Rove have a recurring gig on any other major news channel? How much more blatantly partisan can you get? Schmidt’s quote was close behind, accusing MSNBC of being nothing but a tool of the Democrats for attacking Sen. McCain. Again The Cupcake must ask, what is FOX News? I’m at a loss. As much as I am infuriated with the Clintons right now, I do not have such a short memory that I’ve forgotten about the absolute denigration FOX News blatantly threw their way starting back in 1996, well before Monica Lewinsky actually gave them something to crow about.

I personally make it a point to watch FOX News as often as possible – as Capt. Marko Ramius once said, it’s wise to know the ways of one’s adversary. The arguments made, and more importantly the reasoning used, on FOX News is so often conservative in its slant, I feel like I’m living in Berlin, circa 1939. After watching for 30 minutes, I realize that I should be afraid of everyone and everything right down to the Peace Corps (cuz they’re out to dominate the world too!). The blind (aka ridiculous, unearned, suicidal et al.) support for all things Bush and the smugness of Hannity and O’Reilly are rarely founded in logic or political history. Hannity and O’Reilly’s radio shows are even more ridiculous – and I know because I listen to them each and every day. Even the conservatives who call in and question something as black-and-white like our alarmingly low troop strengths and over-stretched deployments get hammered as being left-wing doves. Face it, if you’re not G. Gordon Liddy, you’re not going to get a fair shake from FOX News.

I respect MSNBC for ratcheting up their partisan coverage. It’s about time someone in the “liberal media” used their alleged corner on the market to balance cable-news coverage out. Were it not for MSNBC’s new-found freedom of speech threatening their winnowing support and flimsy arguments, the Republicans (as well as Hillary’s cronies) wouldn’t be making these points. Nevertheless, MSNBC, FOX News, CNN, yadda, yadda, yadda…does it really matter? News has become, like everything else our media spews out, so entertainment-centric and anti-intellectual in its production, delivery and interpretation; accusations of media bias are most certainly irrelevant.

Unfortunately, the magazine model of media now applies to the consumption of news; the advent of cable and the Internet have relegated the public to sheep that will only consume their most personally accepted point of view so they can continue living in their comfortable bubbles. Heaven forbid people take it upon themselves to challenge their preconceived notions, show some intellectual back-bone and demand coverage that is indeed “fair and balanced.”

We get what we ask for.

You should check out:

Like quirky? Like indie? Like quirky indie? Musicality by Salako is for you (Tiger, go straight to iTunes now!). Don't let the Sesame Street-esque record cover fool you, this is almost brilliant. Honorable mention for the week also includes: Miracle Cure by Blank & Jones featuring guitars and volals from the one and only Bernard Sumner; Paul Weller meets Noel Gallagher on the stompin' Echoes Round the Sun...