Right out of the oven:

Face it, some people, like Charles Hoyle, have a death wish...Guillermo gets 5-years in the fun house, a deportation after he serves his sentence and the rest of his life without his testicles...Cartoonist takes it to the limit one more time with the Muslim world, creating the usual mass hysteria (this picture says it all - when is someone gonna introduce these people to quaaludes?!)...The state of Idaho might want to consider adding a driving-while-passengers-have-intercourse-in-back-seat section to standard driver's ed curriculum after Joshua Frank loses control of his SUV...In case you're at a loss for creative gifts to give this Christmas, Celebtrity Skin and Bodily Fluids is selling, among other things, hermetically sealed canisters of Mike Tyson's poop...“When he saw me, he said he was bathing, and asked me if I had some shampoo.”...Any of you guys out there having trouble, er, attracting women? Well, maybe you should try bathing yourself in urine...And, on an electrifying end note for the week; "I don't remember what happened. One minute I was taking a leak and the next thing I knew I was in the hospital!"...

Scary George W. Bush moment of the week:

I have no doubt that most of you would name the Nelson Mandela moment as your top pick, but giving the President the benefit of the doubt after reading that response in context, I'm confident it was blown out of proportion for a cheap laugh, most notably by The Daily Show. So, all jokes aside, the truly "Scary George W. Bush Moment of the Week" for The Cupcake was stumbling across this Dan Froomkin article from The Washington Post regarding Bush's compentency, and more importantly, the real impact of his administration's consolidation of power within the executive branch through his use of political patronage in rewarding long-time loyalists with key administration positions. There once was an administration that thought/practiced the way this one does - consolidation as a necessity to maintain control, categorically lying to the public about a misguided war, using the wheels of the federal bueracracy to elimate its enemies...and they were forced to resign so we could all start over. If you're getting the Nixon vibe I'm putting out, great. If not, you should probably brush up on your American history.

Hopeful "Generation Y is not completely asleep at the wheel" moment of the week:

In a show of true defiance, J. David McSwane, Editor-In-Chief of the Rocky Mountain Collegian at Colorado State University, stuck to his convictions and refused to pull his very concise editorial. Good for him. If only more news outlets had the balls this kid does, we'd be a lot better off.

You should check out: Three Days of the Condor Original Motion Picture Soundtrack by Dave Grusin...most of this album could have just as easily been found in the porn of the 70's - killer stuff

Right out of the oven:

On one hand, there could have been worse things to take your frustration out on; on the other hand, cows for target practice?...Area deer suffering from mid-life crisis decides to end it all...Excuse me, flight attendant? I asked for a bag of peanuts, not a bag of penis!...Ever wonder what celebrity you look like? The people at My Heritage have that and a lot more to offer...Sending e-greetings is, in this day and age, passe to say the least, but someecards.com has the opportunity to pump a lot of new life into your on-line greetings...What, exactly, was the best part of Lillian Dunn's morning? Was is the whole driving-with-a-blanket-over-her-head thing? Maybe it was running head-on with her car through the front door of the police station? No, wait, it was definitely the part where she gave that curious, just-almost-mown-down officer the finger in defiance of his concern for her and then sped off...Vanity taken to a new level: Neuticles for your male dog to keep him looking, uhm, virile...and, on an explosive ending note for the week; this suicide-land-dispute-resolution-dinner party sounded like a sure-fire blast...

WTF? moment of the week:

The Smoking Cupcake likes Kanye West as much as the next guy, especially in light of him keeping it real during the Katrina telethon, but his rant at the MTV VMAs last week was absolutely ridiculous...And when I say ridiculous, I don't mean ridiculous because I had a problem with him being upset about not winning despite being nominated for 5 awards. Disappointment, anger, etc...all that I can understand. With probability being like gravity, one would think it safe to assume he's taking home one of those 5 awards. That said, my beef with tha'K to-the-anye is that he was so pissed about not winning an MTV Video Music Award, the single-most irrelevant award given throughout the entire irrelevant award circuit. I mean, are ya' kidding me? It's not like he got stiffed for an Oscar or a Grammy. He got stiffed for a Moon Man! What's even more impossible to believe is he was that upset yet had nothing to do with 2 of the 5 nominations he received (and, technically, a third since being nominated for the Quadrulple Threat of the Year Award merely meant he'd been nominated for 4 other "awards"). Follow my logic: Kanye was nominated for Best Editor and Director. My guess is that Kanye knows as much about video editing and directing as the Cupcake knows about nuclear fusion (my knowledge of which begins and ends with the first 10 minutes of Escape from New York). In fact, according to MTV's own web site, he had absolutely nothing to do with the editing or the directing of the video nominated in both categories. So, why on Earth was he so pissed, for example, about missing out on the Moon Man for Best Editor? Why was he even fucking nominated if he didn't actually do the editing? Mystifying...

Is there:

A more tormented soul on the planet than Orenthal James Simpson? The Juice outdoes himself yet again in Las Vegas to the tune of armed robbery. If we can just get a grand theft auto and imbezzlement or something, maybe he can be nominated for Quadruple Threat of the Year at the 2008 VMAs.

You should check out: Carnival of Light by RIDE...undervalued and overlooked gem from the progenitors of Shoegaze despite abandoning the wall of sound

Its a good thing there were no other kangroos reported missing in the entire country of Germany (shocking, I know) or else the cops might have had trouble identifying Skippi...Taking parody to a whole new level, the latest in ghetto fabulous footwear is even offered in kids sizes - just in case any of your little ones at home are aspiring drug lords (free shipping too, woo hoo!)...I was beginning to think bees (or lack thereof) would be the death of us...Larry Craig isn't the only conservative who likes public restrooms as Operation Summer Heat nets Episcopal preist, among others, in North Carolina...Those Orlando squirrels are vicious I tell you...Ah, the things that lead to severe genital bruising: "He pronounced her name May-gan, instead of Mee-gan, prompting Conroy to get upset"...When I think of animal attacks, buffalo rarely come to mind, especially unprovoked buffalo...The victim — described as a “quiet family man” — was attacked after playing pool with pals at a bar in Washington, Tyne and Wear...I'm glad Michael Vick realizes what he, you know, did was immature and that he has to, you know, grow up...The recent GAO report on the less than adequate performance of the Department of Homeland Security comes as no surprsise..."Those fireworks were meant to go up 30 to 40 feet in the air," he said. "And they went off in his face instead!"...and, finally, ever wondered what it would be like to own a lighthouse of your very own? Check out these digs located 3 miles off shore in the middle of the Delaware Bay...

You should check out: ...and this is our music by Brian Jonestown Massacre (thanks to Charli for her immaculate directions)...Anton is on his game big time