On one hand, there could have been worse things to take your frustration out on; on the other hand, cows for target practice?...Area deer suffering from mid-life crisis decides to end it all...Excuse me, flight attendant? I asked for a bag of peanuts, not a bag of penis!...Ever wonder what celebrity you look like? The people at My Heritage have that and a lot more to offer...Sending e-greetings is, in this day and age, passe to say the least, but someecards.com has the opportunity to pump a lot of new life into your on-line greetings...What, exactly, was the best part of Lillian Dunn's morning? Was is the whole driving-with-a-blanket-over-her-head thing? Maybe it was running head-on with her car through the front door of the police station? No, wait, it was definitely the part where she gave that curious, just-almost-mown-down officer the finger in defiance of his concern for her and then sped off...Vanity taken to a new level: Neuticles for your male dog to keep him looking, uhm, virile...and, on an explosive ending note for the week; this suicide-land-dispute-resolution-dinner party sounded like a sure-fire blast...

WTF? moment of the week:

The Smoking Cupcake likes Kanye West as much as the next guy, especially in light of him keeping it real during the Katrina telethon, but his rant at the MTV VMAs last week was absolutely ridiculous...And when I say ridiculous, I don't mean ridiculous because I had a problem with him being upset about not winning despite being nominated for 5 awards. Disappointment, anger, etc...all that I can understand. With probability being like gravity, one would think it safe to assume he's taking home one of those 5 awards. That said, my beef with tha'K to-the-anye is that he was so pissed about not winning an MTV Video Music Award, the single-most irrelevant award given throughout the entire irrelevant award circuit. I mean, are ya' kidding me? It's not like he got stiffed for an Oscar or a Grammy. He got stiffed for a Moon Man! What's even more impossible to believe is he was that upset yet had nothing to do with 2 of the 5 nominations he received (and, technically, a third since being nominated for the Quadrulple Threat of the Year Award merely meant he'd been nominated for 4 other "awards"). Follow my logic: Kanye was nominated for Best Editor and Director. My guess is that Kanye knows as much about video editing and directing as the Cupcake knows about nuclear fusion (my knowledge of which begins and ends with the first 10 minutes of Escape from New York). In fact, according to MTV's own web site, he had absolutely nothing to do with the editing or the directing of the video nominated in both categories. So, why on Earth was he so pissed, for example, about missing out on the Moon Man for Best Editor? Why was he even fucking nominated if he didn't actually do the editing? Mystifying...

Is there:

A more tormented soul on the planet than Orenthal James Simpson? The Juice outdoes himself yet again in Las Vegas to the tune of armed robbery. If we can just get a grand theft auto and imbezzlement or something, maybe he can be nominated for Quadruple Threat of the Year at the 2008 VMAs.

You should check out: Carnival of Light by RIDE...undervalued and overlooked gem from the progenitors of Shoegaze despite abandoning the wall of sound